A Silverlining..??

We live in strange times. At the forefront of things there are states like Delhi,Maharastra,Karnataka reeling under heavyweight political scams. These states are supposedly socially progressive.At the far end we have Bihar,which is assumed to be on the lower rung of the social progress ladder.The state gave a big thumbs up to its incumbent Chief Minister in a landslide mandate. Bihar of recent times has not recorded any massive scams.Only some cases of petty corruption. So,are we to interpret the social progressiveness by the scale of corruption in a state?

The 2010 Bihar election is a numerical anomaly. BJP has won 91 out of contested 102 seats. That’s whooping 90% success rate. JD (U) is no less.112/141.That stands at 80%.And ruling parties strength in the assembly is 206/243.Thats 85%.Sounds more like a 12th class CBSE/ICSE toppers score. Ain't it?? :).Wonder when it happened last time in Indian elections. Not even the first general elections that were held in the country could produce this kind of result. For INC was the only real national political party then.

Kudos to Nitish Kumar. It is a wonderful achievement. In the era of endless scams its really heartening to see the agenda of good governance and development taking the drivers seat. In an otherwise gloomy days of endless greed ,its really heartwarming.But most of the second term governments in recent memory have faltered miserably.Budhadev in WB was blighted byNandiGram. Sheila Dekshit in Delhi is haunted by CWG. UPAs second term has an endless list of scams. Only Narendra Modi seems to have escaped the scathe .Lets keep our fingers crossed and hope Nitish will not land in same quagmire.

Its time that Indian political class understand the significance of this Bihar result. We do not need 50 rupee saris or worthless 500 rupee television sets. We do not want a leader who cries in every public appearance or runs to a temple at the slightest hint of trouble. We don't want to know which political leader is screwing which actress. We want an honest,capable administrator who gives us good governance.Its important that Nitish succeeds this time to prove the point. Lets pray for his success.

Corrupt Superpower..??

A Swedish student group visited India some time ago. Their agenda was to study about MK Gandhi.This incident was recorded by one of the professors who is an expert in Gandhian studies.The prof asked the visiting lot why they wanted to know about Bapu. They gave him three reasons. i) India is the only country in the history of mankind to gain independence through non violence. ii) Even though India fought with UK for nearly 200 years,when they left India, British were friends of India.(Mountbatten was first governor general of Independent India). iii) When Gandhi was shot dead the United Nations flag was lowered as a mark of respect to Bapu.This was a unique gesture because when a person who holds a high office in any country is dead UN will will lower the respective countries flag. Not the UN flag.First Bapu did not hold any position of power.(He was not even an ordinary congress member). And second, never again has UN lowered its own flag for any deceased person. So, they wanted to know more about a man with such a tremendous influence.

If all the remarkable qualities Bapu had has to be listed on a priority,then honesty and gut wrenching workmanship would top the list. Probably Bapu was everything which today's India is not. He was willing to go to the root of any problem. Today's India is blighted by Tokenism. He was outright honest. We are outright corrupt. He would find a solution. We find a victim.October 2nd is the great mans birthday.(Although our political class has reduced it to a stage managed event.). The filthiest and brazenly shameless CWG games are beginning on 3rd of October. At one end we have Bapu who is all about human and human values. And at the other we have CWG organized and run by the most corrupt,filthiest and greediest individuals for whom money is above country and life of fellow humans. A tragic irony ? Or a delibrate coincidence ?

Did we loose our way somewhere ? It is somehow ingrained in our genes that petty mistakes are never the mistakes to worry about. In turn we tend to forget the bigger crimes over a period of time. An Azzharuddin can become an MP in a mere 10 years after selling many cricket matches to bookies. A Lalu Yadav can become a minister for umpteenth time despite gobbling up crores of rupees. A murder committed by Shibu Soren is not a crime as long as he can come back to power. A hand chopped professor will loose his job because he had different views on a religion.An Afzhal Guru can spend years in jail on tax payers money on the pretext of procedure. Every crime from chain snatching to money laundering to murder can go unpunished.As long as the concerned authorities are "taken care of".

In a way the collapsing CWG stadiums and the faltering authorities are a perfect indication of India's mindset as a country. In a country where human life lost to crime is just a count for official records,how serious can be a issue of collapsed false ceiling or an over-bridge ? No we are not ashamed of anything. From day one we knew this was going to be the plight of CWG. Shabby constructions, bloated up expenditures, downright frauds, mud slinging in the nth hour.We knew this was exactly what was going to happen. Anything otherwise would have been a huge surprise.We also know that everything will be forgiven. Few individuals would have made fortunes of lifetime . Few families would be mourning the loss of loved ones. There would be new inquiry commissions. More tax payers money spent on that.And then very soon everything will be forgotten.Life moves on...

Welcome to India. A Future Superpower..!!

Naayak Nahin...

Indian news in electronic media seems to be following a particular pattern.This pattern is emerging prominently in past 3-4 weeks.Each week they identify a KhalNayak and spend endless hours discussing the poor guy.And that too in scant regard to the viewers prefrence.How many times you can watch a bearded,bemoaning Kalmadi on your TV screens ?

The pioneer of the KhalNayak pattern for the month was the Amit Shah. He might or might not have committed a crime.Regardless he has to be prosecuted.He appeared so many times on small screen in a week,it easily amounts to Privacy Infringement suit.And the following weeks were dominated by CWG hall of fame shabby stadiums and shady deals.Wonder what these guys were doing in last 4 years when the work was in progress for CWG.Now,out of the blue they are finding scape goats in Kalmadi and Co.Whatever happened to the Babus of various departments who would have made life time fortunes from CWG.The buck is down and everybody wants a pie.

No one would have imagined that a No-Ball bowled on a cricket field would flare up to a full fledged diplomatic row between two countries. It was an utterly inconsequential and insignificant cricket match which no one will remember after a week.A fledgling bowler bowls a innocuous No-ball,which in any case does not have any bearing on the outcome of the match.Again,thanks to the Indian media.They have managed to make an issue out of nowhere. Whats more ludicrous is they are trying to find a new perpetrator every day.First it was bowler,then the captian and now it is Dilshan. Was SriLankan president watching the match? May be its a full fledged conspiracy by SriLanka to prevent Sehwag from scoring a century ?

The advent of electronic media was seen as a breath of fresh air in India.With stinking governance and shameless political class ,media could have been more than a sensation creator.A cricket no-ball taking precedence over lack of monsoon in large parts of the country is a frightful sign.Guess as with everything else media is just a reflection of our mindset. Tokenism and Victimizing ,whilst leaving the issue untouched.

Up in the Air

Each time I board a plane, the moments after take off and landing are kind of a rebirth to me. Somehow all the horrendous episodes of Air Crash Investigation (in NGC) comes back to my mind.There are countless ocassions that I have decided that this is it and have given up.One such latest was a Pittsburgh-New York plane where due to a puller malfunction the wheel was sucked inside by the body with a big thud and plane shook once in an horizontal plane. That may be counted for 2 rebirths.

It amuses me to no end when I see people strolling leisurely inside the air craft in the mid air. The entire plane mechanism from taxi-take off- mid air-landing works on numerous scientific approximations.(Mind you its just approximations not precise ones.). For instance the g-factor while decelerating is approximated to 9.8 up to 10 decimal point precision. If by chance the air craft enters some climatic condition in which this approximation is not enough,then you could land up straight inside your drawing room.In future an MIT science freak can prove some of the Physics theories on which the Aircraft mechanism works to be false(As Einstein did to Newton). Then,it simply means that hundreds of hours we flew in a machine,in mid air,at 40000 feet and freezing temperatures, that is entirely built on wrong assumptions.Damn it !!

Once more I have to come back to Air Crash Investigation episodes.There will be one inevitable section in each episode that how a particular mishap led to some corrective action in the planes mechanical parts/software/procedures. On each boarding there will be this haunting feeling that I may as well end up being a case study for future air travelers. People talk about being useful to society. May be I have to search for better avenues.

May be its a sign of our times in which living on land is as unsafe as being on board a aircraft. Any moment a insane fanatic or a freakish half wit kid can pull out a gun and shoot at anybody for apparently no reason. In mid air there is at least one thing assured.If something goes wrong,we wont survive to look back.

Dogs,Bites and Barks

The past two three weeks saw unprecedented protests from Dogs all over India.There were huge traffic jams in Lucknow,Patna and other cities due to the massive Dog rallies.The protest was in the wake of the controversy of BJP president Nitin Gadkari branding some Yadav species leaders as dogs. "Apparently some dogs felt so humiliated,they burned themselves alive",says All India Canine Committee (AICC???) spokesperson. Further it was told that committee filed a defamation suite against Mr.Gadkari in supreme court. The apex court is bound to give a ruling forbidding comparison of any political leaders to Dogs in future. Following the suite the respective committees of Donkeys,Monkeys and Pigs are planning to file PILs in the court. This will leave very few animals for comparison of our Netas and union government has commissioned a panel to research on the other available fauna options.

All that Glitters..

The current direction in which the Indian cricket is heading is in a way indicative of the countries collective psyche.We are inclined towards individuals or phenomenons which dazzle,rather than the substance. We celebrate talent but fail to recognize qualities like gut,determination and hard work.

Invariably our news makers are prodigies like Yuvraj Singhs,Sania Mirzas or Vinod Kamblis. No doubt these are tremendous talents. But somehow lack the application or adaptability to sustain at the highest level. A Sania Mirza marriage gets 10 days of extensive media coverage. Where as Vishwantahan Anands world championship victory will just be a footnote. Part of the reason could be the game of Chess itself,which requires some intellect to follow. But for the larger part it is to do with the individual,Vishy. He is not media savvy like a Tendulkar or a Dhoni.Nor he is a page 3 regular known for his nocturnal activities.

Watching current crop of cricketers playing in the World T20 it was hard not to notice lack of commitment and preparation. Its even harder to fathom the skills that they lacked in facing a short ball. For they knew it was coming ,well in advance. Dropping catches and missed stops was a norm. This was supposed to be the much hyped Youngistan with fielding coaches and drills. Some senior cricketers were chastised and abandoned for the apparent lack of skills in fielding and running between the wickets. And these youngsters fell woefully short in both the areas.

Even a movie like 3 Idiots brazenly attempts to put the natural talent aspect ahead of hard work.In a nutshell it claims that you have to be born gifted to achieve something.We embraced the genius of Rancho,the protagonist who tops the class without putting a hard yard. The concept suited us so well that the qualities like commitment,determination seemed to be almost outlandish.

Einstein said "Genius is 10% Inspiration and 90% Perspiration.". But looks like the Indian thought process is in exact opposite direction. The rationale behind putting talent ahead of other qualities could be because it presents a very convenient defense against failure. And that will be fatal.

Action..Cut..

Finally we are through the week of Actions and Cuts .There were lots of cuts,little Action and many retakes. Who cut what, who were acting and the final outcome of the drama is awaited yet.And the results will be announced in next IPL awards.

There are still no confirmed reports on what did Cut Motion cut. There are some speculations that proposers of this cacophonous Cut Motion,got cuts in some sensitive places. Shibu Sorens mistaken Cut left BJP leaders deeply scarred.As a result of this mis-Cut , there are Actions and Retakes going on in Jharkand over the state government. Mayawati cuts a deal with Congrees for 200 th time in 10 years.SP,RJD leaders forgot that they are part of the Cut and cut out themselves from the parliament.Some goons (who also happen to be MPs from these two parties) were seen Cutting the power cables and Axles of some public transport buses outside the parliament.

There was one more high profile Cut elsewhere in the country. Ubiquitous Lalit Modi was cut out from the Chairmanship of IPL. He was last heard on twitter claiming that he will Cut BCCI out from IPL. And this cut seem to have left him delirious. He still firmly believes that he is the Chairman of IPL (Imaginary Premier League ??). This Cut was a Citi Moment of Success to BCCI and was sponsored by-7'O Clock : Long lasting smooth Cut...!!

Other Cut was made by Bangalore cops by arresting Swamy Nityananda . This Swamy forgot to say Cut and camera recorded stuff well beyond its limits. Poor guy must be kicking himself for not learning this three letter word. Final Cut of the week is from actress Khushboo. After Supreme Court acquitted her from pre-marital sex statement charges,actress was heard saying:"Youngsters should open up more..". What?? Cut..Cut..

Down the Maruti Lane..

Maruti is phasing out Maruti-800. Its sort of a nostalgic moment for many of my generation.For all its vulnerabilities 800 was a landslide success.Before this sleek compact looking car hit the road there were two predominant cars.Big bulky Ambassador with mostly white and some black colored ones.And then the Fiat with that strange engine cacophony.Both were pathetic when it came to looks.In a (then)small town like Bangalore we hardly used to see any other cars other than these two.Some occasional Impalas and Contessas.

800 really added new color to the monochromatic roads.It came in Brick Red,Dark blue,Brown and White colors.The initial German version of 800 was not that eye catchy.But the newer versions that are their today were at that time a revelation in design. But,even today I hear people boasting about how the 1985 German version Maruti engine is performing exceptionally for them. Indian version Marutis Chassis looked fragile and people say engine is not that great.But, the newer 800 was one of our own. Its entirely Made In India.

Technical aspects apart, this car changed the perception of middle class India about owning a car.Before 800 the cars were primarily for Sarakari Babus or Ministers who used the Ambassadors. And the Fiats were for some Doctors and other small business men who could afford a car. Wonder what cars were preferred then by movie stars and Industrial big shots. But advent of 800 changed all that. A Government servant or a PSU worker with an above average salary could actually afford this tiny car. More than the initial investment what could have attracted a salaried man to this car was the maintenance cost. Indian spares and the wide network of service centers meant that one ended up spending half the money to maintain this car,compared to other available options . Maruti had struck a cord of the Indian middle class.

800 also means lot of sweet personal memories. Few one day excursions with cousins on occasional Sundays. The fight for the front seat next to the driver. And holding on to that most coveted steering wheel and dreaming of becoming the best driver in the world.(No,I had not heard of Michael Schumacher then). Thank you Maruti..(800)..:D

Indian Perennial League

How will you feel if you are given two kilo of delicious sweet and asked to finish it in a day?And how will you feel if you are to repeat that routine for forty four days? Just the thought of it makes me puke. That's exactly how I am feeling about IPL. There are so many matches, that people would not even notice if David Warner plays for Delhi one day and Chennai next .Unless if there is Ravi Shastri, whose voice will be resounding in your ears long into the night about Modi(Lalit), DLF maximum and Citi Moments. Talking about moments,there is one moment which I keenly wait for everyday. The players of winning sides hugging the gorgeous leading ladies/ambassadors of the respective franchises. Wonder what makes some young Indian domestic players look so happy.Winning the match or..?

There is a freakish skepticism that Lalit Modis business acumen is getting blunted. There are so many things left unbranded in IPL3. The above hugging incident will make a Jaadu Ki Jhappi "Connecting People" moment. Is their no Band-Aid company in India or elsewhere who will sponsor for the umpires raised finger when giving a batsmen out? The Cadbury sponsored cricket ball will make a nice bite and we could see many more Afridis in coming years. Come on Mr.Modi,you cannot let go so many business opportunities.

And,Indias greatest (!!!) tennis player Sania Mirza is getting married to Shoaib Malik. Being a sports person Sanias achievement is that, she will always be in news for non sporting reasons. Our media houses are already branding it a marriage of the year. What happens if the marriage plans does not go through? Pakistan will cry foul and scream conspiracy . And as usual they will ask for US intervention. Along with Kashmir, there will be one more contentious issue in Indo-Pak talks-Sania.

Maaya Jaal

Mayawati is Nero of our times.The country is burning with hot summer,lack of water,price rise and Lalit Modi.Still she has 20 million party workers who donate 1 rupee each,every year.Dont know what they did with 20 million rupee coins.Probably, Bangladeshis purchased it @50 paise a coin to make Maya blades.These Maya blades need not necessarily work outside UP. Maya blades are specifically designed to make long lasting incisions to certain genre of Male species in UP and Bihar. The scientific name for those males end with Yadav.

As a practice,our politicians handover the garland donned on them to their assistants/personnel standing next to them.It would be interesting to see the video footage who held on to Mayas most famous Money garland. Or did Maya carry it on her to her office? Just trying to imagine the UP CM with her imposing demeanor with this big clumsy garland of hers walking in the scorching heat of Lucknow.There were rumors floating around that from next year UP government is announcing a national level Best On Stage Public Performance awards. And the award contains the Mural of Maya with the cash garland around the neck.Of course the Mural will be carved out of granite.(Left overs of Mayas Statue project) .

Amidst all the big issues of Mayawati,Lalit Modi and Swamy Nityananda there was a trivial matter of state wise growth report for year 2009. Gujarat recorded 10% plus growth for the 6th consecutive year. For the state that was blighted by Earthquake and Godhra in early 2000's that's a remarkable achievement. Unfortunately the Man behind the machine :Narendra Modi is in news for wrong reasons.Courtesy of SECULAR media,who have forgotten the difference between Summon and Indictment.

Sexy Swamys

Two Swamys,one from North India and other from Southern India dominated the media this week.Apparently for wrong but colorful reasons.Swamy number one Bhimananda(SB) was caught on rather a indolent sex racket. Other swamy Nityananda(SN) was in the focus for a more varied reasons.A successful double enactment in a Raasaleela and ensuing TRP rating increase for certain channels.There was unconfirmed reports that number of visits to certain masala sites on the net were significantly lower in the mid of this week. Most of the user base tuned into some of the famous (so called) news channels.

The grudging and talking point about SBs sex racket was that he was earning 2.5 lakhs per day.And better, he was due to get thousands of crores of money.He achieved this in a very short period of time. We talk about lack of entrepreneurship in India. This is one guy we should nurture and protect.If it means amending some laws, so be it. We need innovative talents like this.

SNs case is bit more funny. It seems he claimed to have some Divyadirshti.(Ability to look beyond present.).But this stupid a***** could not notice camera in his bed room.That too not once,but twice. May be his Dirshti (Vision) was blinded by Kaama (Lust). Any case, Indian government should consider making him the governor of a state. He can carry forward the legacy left behind by likes of Mr.N.D.Tiwary.

Frankly, it does not matter what a person does behind the closed doors of his bedroom.In SNs case, his crime at the most amounts to Hypocrisy.Of all the people we Indians do not have any moral right to talk about that. After all we are the strongest advocates of the proposition:"A Rule for all:Not for me". As a mass ,we are the biggest Hypocrites.

Story of Billion Hopes

It ammuses me to no end when I see this :"One Person Carrying Billion Hopes when going out to Bat" .Well , he can count on me.I will not be resting my hopes on any sportster.Whether he is Batting,Bowling,Fielding or doing whatever he can do.That makes it 1 billion-1 hopes. Right now I have set my hopes on our Finance Minister, who is about to present a budget.Hope he gives some respite for me by giving tax breaks.

Flashback to April 2007. India lose to Sri Lanka and exit from the world cup in the first round. Tendulkar & Co. were chastised and were subjected to endless scrutiny.At least one member in the Indian team would have wished he was in Bob Wolmer's room. They allegedly thrashed Billion -1 hopes. The castigation was so severe in the media,that even Kasab would have felt less guiltier.

Fast forward to present.Tendulkar scores double hundred in a rather inconsequential ODI.Media,Public go berserk. All channels unanimously appoint Tendulkar as god of India(=Cricket). If a non cricket follower watched Indian channels,news papers,forums they would think India got their independence on 24th Feb,2010.

Amidst all this,a big thanks to Tendulkar.For the number of times he brought smiles on our faces all these years.Carry on maestro,without the weight of my Hopes on you !!

An Opinion about Opinion

A famous notorious quote reads:"A Opinion is like *******,everybody seems to have one."In India people seems to have at least two opinions on each issue.The number of opinions,specifically of those disposable celebrities, is directly proportional to the number of news channels that interview them.

There was a famous interview of our former son of soil(oops!! former PM) when he visited Anantnag in Jammu. A press reporter threw a innocuous question at our then Honorable PM on the Anantnag riots that had happened few days before. Mr.PM promptly responded with his opinion on Mr.Anantnag,who was then a minister in Karnataka government.And that Opinion had lot of venom, since Mr.Anantnag had identified himself with the opposing faction,leaving the reporter perplexed.This is the first kind of opinion:out of context,but still speaks your mind.

There is other kind of opinion that is very prevalent,and the funniest of all.The opinions of the instant cricket experts.There are no dearth of channels on which the likes of Mr.Nikhil Chopra advising Dravids and Tendulkars on how to play short ball.The last time when Mr.Chopra took the field he had 80 runs to his name in an ODI. And he was consistently achieving this feet in his previous matches.Unfortunately for him that was in the bowling card. But still that does not prevent him from expressing his Opinions.These are kind of opinions which nobody cares , including person who asked for the Opinion.

And the third kind of opinions are primarily expressed to meet some business ends.As Mr.SRK did recently. Its very strange that it occurred to SRK that the treatment meted out to Pak players was bad just a week before his movie was being released in Pak. It does not matter that as a franchise owner he was in a better position to pick at least one Pak player. All that matters is that he had two different businesses to run and his opinions was just formed around that.

The only public body which does not seem to have any opinions is the office of President of India.Our Honorable Ms.President appears to be so aesthetic that she is almost a non-entity.We see her in public only two times an year.These people seem to have no opinion on any issues and even if they had nobody cares to ask them.And in country like India,guess that's the best approach.

Issue That is not

I am sick of hearing and reading about this SRK and Shivsena issue in media.Its a classic case of more messengers than the available news material .In the first place if SRK was so concerned about Pak players, he could have definitely made room for them in his team.KKR anyway are loosing, even without Pak players.And Sena,well, they don't have much to do these days.They have stiff competition in beating up North Indians.At local level, MNS is doing the job and Internationally Australians are handling it.Albeit, more brutally.Apparently, all parties involved have nothing much to do :SRK,Sena and Media.

I have a concept.Indian government should consider having system of internal visas.As our dearest neighbor, China had. And the Visa issuing officers should be Sena and MNS activists.At least for Maharastra. Each state can have an local autonomous(!!!) body like this,with people who are self proclaimed torch bearers of the local culture.(Sadly, MNS and Sena believes beating up people is part of their local culture.). To ensure that the visa issuing procedure is fair, it should be preceded by an public service officer.This effectively means that,by the time you get a Visa of a state/city/locality you are all but dead.That means no room for conflict between locals and immigrants. Problem solved.

And it gets better.Our agriculture minister visited Mr.Thackery Senior to convince him on not disrupting SRKs movie release and IPL.And so kind of his party(NCP),it did not forget to advice us on consuming less sugar.Lest,we would end up having diabetes and all subsequent ill effects.So much for price rise of eatables.Understandably,Mr.Pawar's stakes are far higher in IPL than trivial matters such as Rice,Dal and Sugar.Don't be surprised to see an advisory from Agriculture Ministry in couple of weeks asking all Indians to have food only once a day. Eating twice will make you obese, you see. Don't forget to watch IPL though.